Waggin'

It has been crazy! The last four or five weeks, that is. But have no fear: this dog is back on the bloggin' waggin'!

(Note the dog-spelling of the last "w" word...)

To bring you up to speed on the last month, the household has been busy getting ready for a new team member. Meanwhile, Gladys broke a toenail and has been on light duty. One thing I will say about Gladys is, despite many redeeming qualities, she hasn't been quite as durable as me. Ever since my first hike in Vermont nearly six years ago (when my tender southern pads bled), I've been pretty much indestructible. I'm like Wes Welker, whereas Gladys is Aaron Hernandez (an analogy that works... except for size. If we're searching for the New England Patriot who most resembles me in personality, it's definitely Gronk.)

Anyway, I was bringing you up on the highlights of the last month: oh yes, I got a new collar for Christmas... very sharp.

Last Friday, Mark took me on our first backcountry ski trip of 2013 (no Gladys... again, light duty). We made fresh tracks on an unnamed mountain in the Green range (the mountain does have a name, but we don't name all our backcountry destinations on this blog). Today, after about a month hiatus, Mark did take me for a run -- and this time we did bring Gladys... for a mile. Working her back in slowly. Mark, incidentally, was quicker than I thought he'd be after his time off. I guess all that skiing and hockey-playing does keep him in shape. Alison, meanwhile, has put on a little weight and goes a little slower these days. Hey... I'm a dog who tells it like it is. I still love running with her... and we all think she's the best.

Dear Oscar, First off, where have you been, man? You haven't posted since September and that one wasn't even about running! Also, why do you think humans are so averse to running in the rain? It's only water, right? It's still early in the rainy season where I live and already I'm tired of the whining. How do we convince these people of the fun you can have out romping in the rain? -- Wet West Coaster

Dear Coaster,

I'll answer your questions one by one. First off, I haven't been anywhere but right here in Richmond having -- as usual -- the time of my life! Oh... you're wondering why I haven't put up any blog posts? And you're questioning my content? Listen: I'm a dog. I post what I want when I want. You humans just keep checking the blog... and feeding me twice a day (that's two scoops of California Natural). Good human.

Secondly, the rainy season. You know, this is a good question; I don't understand humans and the weather. Gladys didn't either. For example, take the first time she ever saw snow (see photo). Yep, she just buried her head like an ostrich until I pulled her out and showed her the fun! Rain is the same way: the wetter and muddier the better, I say.

As for the whining, I couldn't agree more. If it's not feeding time, time to go to the bathroom, or time to go outside (all of which could be as often as every five minutes), I am totally against whining.

Hope this helps and enjoy that West Coast Wetter!
Oscar

Dear Oscar, What do you think of the bill before the New Jersey state legislature that would require dogs to wear seatbelts or be crated in the car? -- Car-Party-Pooper

Dear Pooper,

Preposterous! Me -- wear a seatbelt? You're kidding, right? Have you ever seen me in a car? I sit, I stand. I lie down, I scratch on the window. I let my ears flap in the wind, I lay down. Repeat. A seatbelt? Who comes up with these things!

When I first read your question, I admit it: I laughed until I cried. They must be a bunch of comedians down in New Jersey! I have to visit! However, if you're writing in about it, maybe they're for real. On second thought, maybe I better just steer clear.

Your friend, Oscar.

Dear Oscar, Were you at a dog party this weekend? -- Paw-ty Animal

Dear Animal,

Here's what happened. It all started about three weeks ago when my human (Mark) started experiencing shin pain. Not counting a half-ironman in Maine, he hasn't done much of anything that entire time, just trying to get well. But now he is easing back into running. (By "easing" I of course mean he ran an easy 4 miles with me on Thursday instead of just jumping into the 22-miler he did this morning. Makes sense, right?)

Meanwhile, the non-injured in the family -- that's Ali, Gladys, and me -- went for a 12-miler along the Richmond River Trail. When we arrived at the Beeken Preserve Canoe Access, we realized there was a party going on. And not just any party... it was a DOG party! Of course we crashed it.

Mark had come through prior to us, and apparently he gave them the heads up that we might be coming. The party was put on by Richmond Land Trust. Dr. Dan, the vet from Richmond Animal Hospital was there, and lots of dogs and people. Gladys and I jumped on most of them.

We continued with our run and then went home. When Mark came back through, apparently they were still there. He asked if we had been there, and they told him yes. The conversation went something like this:

     Mark: Was one on the leash and the other not?
     Partiers: You know your children well!
     Mark: Were they well-behaved?
     Partiers: Very!
     Mark: Was the wife well-behaved?
     Partiers: Very!

It's always nice to get a good report. And there's nothing like a party to break up a nice run on a September day!

Your friend, Oscar

Dear Oscar, Can you please explain the USAT drafting rules? Also, while we're at it, will you clarify the concept of "tailgating"? Thanks, Word-freak

Dear Freak,

I'm glad you wrote; there has long been confusion about these two definitions. Why the confusion, you ask? Well, we could start with Merriam-Webster Dictionary and its no-fewer-than 21 definitions for "draft" and 5 for "tailgate." (An aside: Merriam-Webster notes that the earliest use of the word "tailgate" occurred in 1962.)

You'll notice, as I explain these complicated concepts, that it is difficult to have one without the other. If you will refer to Photo A (the one on the left... as a dog, I was unable to figure out how, using HTML -- the computer language used by bloggers to design their weblogs -- to label the two pictures), you will see Gladys "drafting"... that is, taking advantage of reduced air pressure created by the lead dog (me... although we all know that I have a high gear and I could quite easily shift into overdrive and drop her). In doing, she is also "tailgating"... that is, moving dangerously close to the lead dog. You'll know you are too close when all you can see in your range of vision is "tail" -- hence the term.

In Photo B (yes, Einstein, the other photo), you'll notice me trailing at a much safer distance... at least one dog-length behind. As another aside, if the next frame were available, you'd see me performing a full-open-field-body-slam-tackle-takedown-rollover of Gladys. I just love doing that.

Hope this helps with your question.

Your friend, Oscar

Dear Oscar, Under the new collective bargaining agreement, NFL teams are no longer allowed to subject players to double sessions. From your running log, I see that you ran twice yesterday. What gives? -- Eagle Eyes

Dear Eyes,

You truly have been watching my log like an eagle, and, yes, I did run twice yesterday: once with Ali and Gladys in the morning and once with Mark in the afternoon.

While it's true that no more will professional football players be doing two-a-days, I say bring it. Although Gladys was napping on the couch when I left for Run #2, Mark -- and anyone else present -- will attest that I was ready to go. We ran the usual 6-mile loop with a 1.2-mile add-on because Mark needed salad mix from the F.U. farm in Richmond. I will admit that, although he looked like alot of fun, I didn't really feel like romping with the black lab at the F.U. (although I did a little bit to be polite).

On the way back, however, I dove right into the brook by the path, and that was rejuvenating. After that, I led the way back all the way to the house. Two-a-days, three-a-days, all-days... they're all the same to me. I just like running.

Your friend, Oscar

The Doctor Is In

Gladys and I are the only ones who really know how hard she's worked, since we're the ones who have been home with her through the whole process.

But Ali will be handing in her final project this weekend, and let me, Oscar the lab, be the first to congratulate her on a job well done. She makes all the dogs in this house extremely proud!