Monday, May 19, 2014

Why scam a dog?

I do not understand humans. Case in point: I opened up my laptop this morning for the first time in months.

Do I do most of my computing on a smartphone, you ask? No! I'm a dog, I don't have a phone!

Do I use someone else's computer to take care of my web browsing, emailing, and other electronic needs, you wonder? Well, duh, of course I'm using my human's computer -- no dog can just walk into a computer store and buy a laptop; besides, why would I waste money that could otherwise be spent on dog food, human food, or toys when I have access to a perfectly good computer already (don't tell my humans).

Well, then, how can I bear to go months without logging on, you say? I'm a dog! I don't care about surfing the web, et cetera. I care about three things: food, food, and food. Now quit interrupting!

Anyway, as I was saying, after logging on for the first time in months, I open my email account (oscarvt99@gmail.com) and it is filled with spam. I have three guys wanting to sell me cars, several women who think I'm fun and want to meet up, many people offering to loan me money, tons offering me medications, and one semi-acquaintance who is vacationing in Turkey, hates to bother me at this time, but has fallen on hard times (i.e. he lost his wallet and passport) and needs me to wire him money. I doubt many canines can compete with me in terms of traffic coming into my inbox!

I am a dog. I don't need meds, cars, or money, and I don't visit websites I'm unfamiliar with. Now, if there was a dog bone scam someone was running, I might fall into that trap.

But these scammers here are barking up the wrong tree.

Dear Oscar, Do you really think readers will follow your blog if you don't post consistently? Loyal Follower

Dear Follower,

This question came in several weeks back. The question is paraphrased (as is the name of the questioner). The question went on in the following vein: listen dog, you haven't posted in forever. You don't have a job or any real responsibilities. While your humans may have excuses for decreased blog presence, you do not. Do you really think loyal readers are going to continue checking your blog if you don't post consistently?

My answer, as a dog with a blog, is simple.

Yes.

Hope this helps! Your friend, Oscar

PS I also hope you'll enjoy the photo of a backcountry ski trip from 6 weeks ago!