Inevitable

Well, it happened, and no one can say I didn't warn him. I have been telling my little brother Waffle the kitten for weeks that if he's going to play on the toilet, he better be ready to fall in. I know that Mark and Alison make every attempt to keep the lid down, but sometimes they forget, and when they do, you can always find that orange kitten precariously balanced on the rim.

And then Friday night the inevitable happened. Sure enough, something caught his eye, he made a quick move (and I will give him credit; he's usually quite agile -- sometimes I can barely catch him), he slipped, and in he went. There was a big splash, a high-pitched "meowwww!," and then an orange streak running from the toilet to the basement cat door.

Well, you can't say I didn't warn him. You won't catch me standing on that toilet. Drinking from it, maybe. But standing? No way.

Oscar, Does your house have a yard? Just Wondering in NYC

Dear Wondering, Yes, my house has a small fenced yard. My owners painstakingly set up an area surrounded by basically a heavy-duty chicken wire. It does the job, although if I wanted to I could probably just knock it over. For the most part, however, I make them happy and just stay in the yard when they ask me to. But, seriously, the yard is where I go to the bathroom, so am I really going to hang out there? I mean, come on, do you hang in your bathroom? I didn't think so.

So every now and then, I lose my head, see a squirrel or something, and sneak out. There are plenty of weak spots, so I try to rotate them. I always come home though. I just like to run in the woods, get a little exercise, sniff some smells, and pee on some bushes. No big thing, but sometimes a dog has to do what a dog has to do.

Dear Oscar, What do you eat for dinner? -- Curious in Cincinnati

I eat 2-and-a-half cups of Nutro Lamb and Rice two times a day.

Awhile back, in an attempt to slow down my dogfood inhalation at mealtimes, my owners tried giving me sliced carrots with dinner. It didn't work; I wolfed down my food just as quickly as ever, and usually just swalled the carrots whole. They also tried broccoli, spinach, and squash, but to no avail. Nothing slowed me down. I love my breakfast and dinner!

Lately, though, Mark has been experimenting with a new approach. He has been grating up carrots with a shredder and putting a pile of shredded carrot on the middle of my food dish. I have to admit, the first time he did this, it threw me for a loop. I was like, what is this? Sometimes I try to eat around the carrot, which, I guess, does slow me down some, and amuses the heck out of Mark. That's probably what slows me down the most; it's weird, I tell you, being watched while I eat, you know? What's the big deal? I still like the carrot, of course (I have yet to try anything I don't like), but sometimes I like to eat the dogfood first and then inhale the carrot.

Find Yours

My owner Mark works at Stowe Mountain Resort where one of their marketing slogans is "Find Yours." I'm no marketing genius, but I believe the idea of the jingle is that whatever turns you on, you can find it at Stowe as long as you're willing to look. If you like quiet wooded glades, go find it at in the out-of-bounds at Stowe. If you like ginormous jumps, check out the big park on Tyro. If you like 5-star hotels and restaurants, check out the new Spruce Peak hotel. Get the point?

I found mine last night. Like I said, I'm not into marketing or sales pitches, so I'm not going to try to convince you that my behavior lately has been stellar or that it was anyone's fault other than my own that Mark hasn't really let me off the leash much lately. I know, I know, I should come when he calls. I just get caught up in the moment, you know? However, last night when he came home at dusk after we received 16 inches of snow in 24 hours, he had decided to give me a chance. We went to the fields at the end of our road (the ones far from the river, so I wouldn't be tempted to run across -- I know... the ice isn't safe!). He put a light and a dog-bell around my neck, strapped on his snowshoes, unhooked my leash, and off we went, bounding across pristine powdery fields under a cloudy yet sparklingly snowy nighttime sky.

And as I charged around at full speed, leaving dog tracks about 6 feet apart in the snow, I found mine. Yep. I love winter, I love snow, and I love romping around in fresh snow on a cold, windless night, with snowflakes floating down and reflecting off my light like stars. I am sure the expression on my face -- if you weren't blinded by the headlamp around my neck -- said it all. Pure bliss. I am a dog who knows what I like, and I found it in the snowfields of Richmond last night.

Oscar, Do you have any advice for our new President? -- A Concerned Reader

Dear Concerned,

Yes, I certainly do. In this time of war and economic recession, what this nation needs is, of course...

... a White House dog! I mean, seriously, what is the hold-up? I had high hopes that the President and his family were going to move decisively and immediately on this important issue; after all, the President addressed it in his very first press conference after winning the election. His exact words: "Yes, we are getting a dog."

Now, I don't want to belittle the enormity of this decision or the importance of making the right choice and selection. And in the Obama family's case, they do have an allergy to be concerned with -- his 10-year-old is allergic. But come on! The time to act is now! There are hypo-allergenic dogs out there like the Labradoodle and the Portugese Water Dog. As I am sure the President will be reading this entry, I offer my advice here: go with the Doodle. After all, it has lab in it, and we all know that labs are the best.

I must say that I am pleased that the Obamas plan to get a dog from a shelter. Yours truly came from a shelter, and what more evidence do we need that shelter dogs make good pets?

I am confident that once he gets a dog in the White House, things will flow better for the new President. He will have someone that greets him enthusiastically when he comes home from a long day at the Oval Office. And he will have always have a willing companion when he needs to go for a walk or jog. The President should remember to feed his new dog regularly and that treats between meals are much appreciated. Finally, if there is ever a nosy reporter badgering him, the President can sic the Doodle on him -- always a handy option to have at one's disposal if one is President.

Long story short: Mr. President, seriously. The economy can wait. Take care of the important stuff first. Go get yourself a dog.

New Skill

Check out the new skill I have added to my set: Here I am pictured on Interstate 89 at 75mph.

Just kidding! Dogs aren't allowed to drive! I'm actually stationary in the Bagel Shop parking lot. And besides, I would never exceed the speed limit; I'm a rule follower.

Also, best of luck to Rufus at the vet! Hang in there, buddy!

Resolution

Happy 2009 everyone! For the New Year, I resolve not to leave my toys around the house, to refrain from jumping when people come over, and to stop chewing on Waffle the kitten.

Okay, I admit it. I have no intention of keeping any of those resolutions. There is one thing, however, I intend to do a better job with: keeping up my running log. Loyal readers of this blog probably think I haven't run in over a month. According to my log, it's true. In reality though, not true. I have been running regularly; I just haven't posted them. So starting with First Run 2009 (see photo of this year's January 1st event), I will diligently post all of my runs. Happy New Year everyone!