Dear Oscar, I heard you went to school. Can they teach an old dog new tricks? -- Learner from Laredo

Dear Learner, First off, who are you calling an "old" dog? I am only 4 years old. Although the paperwork at the dog school referred to me as "mature" (and we know how off-base that designation is) I am certainly not "old"!

As for the school, it was totally awesome. That's right -- awesome. Right off the bat, the lady who ran the program -- April Frost from Animal Visions and Holistic Center for Animals and People -- made it clear that none of my bad behaviors (like my running off, not coming when called, jumping on houseguests) are my fault. You heard me -- none. Finally, someone who sees things my way! She confirmed what I suspected all along: it's all my humans' fault!

That's right -- running, jumping, and all of that are things that dogs do naturally in their native environments (ie the Wild), and only because humans have domesticated us and brought us to live in environments not natural to us, are these behaviors not okay. So, she said, it's up to people to properly train their dogs to act appropriately in the human environment. The problem is, people don't know how to communicate with dogs -- and that's what April's program attempted to teach.

Pretty much all the dogs were cool, but Gladys and I, in my opinion, were the stars of the class. You should have seen that puppy come -- even when April brought out chickens to distract her! I showed that I can walk on a loose leash behind my human. It was actually fun, believe it or not.

One thing is for sure, with a teacher so completely on my side, I'll go to school any day.

Your friend, Oscar