Inevitable

Well, it happened, and no one can say I didn't warn him. I have been telling my little brother Waffle the kitten for weeks that if he's going to play on the toilet, he better be ready to fall in. I know that Mark and Alison make every attempt to keep the lid down, but sometimes they forget, and when they do, you can always find that orange kitten precariously balanced on the rim.

And then Friday night the inevitable happened. Sure enough, something caught his eye, he made a quick move (and I will give him credit; he's usually quite agile -- sometimes I can barely catch him), he slipped, and in he went. There was a big splash, a high-pitched "meowwww!," and then an orange streak running from the toilet to the basement cat door.

Well, you can't say I didn't warn him. You won't catch me standing on that toilet. Drinking from it, maybe. But standing? No way.

Oscar, Does your house have a yard? Just Wondering in NYC

Dear Wondering, Yes, my house has a small fenced yard. My owners painstakingly set up an area surrounded by basically a heavy-duty chicken wire. It does the job, although if I wanted to I could probably just knock it over. For the most part, however, I make them happy and just stay in the yard when they ask me to. But, seriously, the yard is where I go to the bathroom, so am I really going to hang out there? I mean, come on, do you hang in your bathroom? I didn't think so.

So every now and then, I lose my head, see a squirrel or something, and sneak out. There are plenty of weak spots, so I try to rotate them. I always come home though. I just like to run in the woods, get a little exercise, sniff some smells, and pee on some bushes. No big thing, but sometimes a dog has to do what a dog has to do.