Dear Oscar, Why, oh why, did you get sprayed by that skunk? -- Mark

Well, folks, it happened. My owner's worst fears came to fruition:

It was 8:47 Friday morning; I was lying on my owners' bed. When suddenly I knew something was not right. I put all of my hairs straight up and ran into the office. Mark was like, "What's wrong with you?"

He followed me downstairs, where we saw -- in the middle of our FENCED YARD -- a small black and white creature. With Mark screaming "Oscar, no!", I knocked open the back door, and pranced over to it. "What's up?" I said in greeting. I gave it a good sniffing. I didn't smell much initially. I mean, it didn't smell like it had taken any showers lately or anything, but it wasn't terrible.

It wasn't mean. It started to walk away, and, of course, I followed. It looked like it might be a fun friend. It walked as far as the fence and realized it couldn't get out. It raised its tail and with Mark's footsteps in my ears, all of a sudden I was blinded. I felt Mark's hands on my collar pulling me away, and then I smelled the worst smell I've ever smelt. Putrid! And the next thing I knew, we were on the other side of the house, with Mark scrubbing me.

Most of it, thankfully, came off with that initial wash. But, I have to say, Mark has been beside himself all day. He has 20 candles burning in the house -- the most effective being a big one labeled "Sugar Cookies" in green and red. He keeps scrubbing me with any number of gross cleaners -- shampoo, vinegar, etc. We've been to the river twice, and he hasn't let me in the house. He keeps muttering under his breath like a crazy person. "What was it doing in the yard? In the yard!"

Just between us, I'm worried about him.

Oh well. It's a lesson learned. Mark blocked a hole from under the porch into the backyard. He tore out some tall weeds along the fence. I'd say things seem mostly impenetrable. Still, I'm curious about those little critters. I'd kind of like to find another; I have some questions I'd like to ask. In the meantime, I'm looking forward to being allowed back inside so I can rub my head in my owners' pillows.