Dear Oscar, What do you think of the bill before the New Jersey state legislature that would require dogs to wear seatbelts or be crated in the car? -- Car-Party-Pooper

Dear Pooper,

Preposterous! Me -- wear a seatbelt? You're kidding, right? Have you ever seen me in a car? I sit, I stand. I lie down, I scratch on the window. I let my ears flap in the wind, I lay down. Repeat. A seatbelt? Who comes up with these things!

When I first read your question, I admit it: I laughed until I cried. They must be a bunch of comedians down in New Jersey! I have to visit! However, if you're writing in about it, maybe they're for real. On second thought, maybe I better just steer clear.

Your friend, Oscar.