Dear Oscar, How do you feel about birds? Regards, Stanley

Dear Stanley, I LOVE birds! Chasing them, that is. But on the other hand, I do resent their unfair advantage. I mean, it's one thing that just when you almost have them, they flap their wings and take off. But then they'll just sit in trees. I can't climb a tree. How are we going to play if they're going to sit in a tree all day?

And what's the deal with sandpipers? Sandpipers are those grey spotted birds with the semi-long beak and the moderately long legs. They whistle and whistle to get your attention, and they limp around like their legs and wings are all messed up. Then once you're there to sniff and lick 'em, they take off -- no injury after all.

I guess on second thought, I have mixed feelings. I love running after them, but I'm not fond of fakers or flyers. Put us on a level playing field and I'll show you who's standing after an afternoon of old-fashioned romping. And it won't be our feathered friends, I'll tell you that right now.

Thanks for the question, Oscar