Guest Post #2

And one more thing -- this is Waffle the cat here again. How can you take a perfect bathroom -- just the right size, perfect sand, outdoors -- and set it up for use as a kids toy? A kids toy!

I'm disgusted. (Stalks off.)

Guest Post (Waffle the Cat)

Let me get one thing straight: cats don't blog; we are way too cool for sitting in front of computer screens and typing. At the same time, cats are sometimes vindictive, and sometimes I can't help pulling my big yellow brother back down to earth.

So pay attention Oscar... You'll never believe the vacation I just had. It started last Wednesday, when I was duped into riding in my cat carrier for 50 minutes to the Aiken camp in North Hero. I hate that cat carrier.

To be sure, when Friday rolled around and it was time to leave, I stayed put. No matter how much they shook my food dish, I stayed out of sight. They left, and the party began.

First off, feeling guilty, they filled my food bowl half-full. If they should feel guilty about anything, it should be the fact that ordinarily they only put like 20 kibbles in that dish. How's a cat supposed to survive on that? I immediately went down and ate every bit of that high octane cat food in one sitting. Delicious!

Then I went into food-coma-relax mode for 14 hours before terrorizing the mice in the area for the next ten. Then I heard some commotion outside, so I hid in a dark corner. It was Gunnar's grandfather.

He looked around for awhile, mowed the lawn, and poked around more. But I stayed out of sight. I don't trust these people; I remember my car ride in that carrier. And then (this is the greatest part of all -- read closely Oscar) he filled my food bowl to the top before leaving! To the top!

Now I had a full bowl and the camp to myself! I clawed myself several times to make sure I hadn't died and gone to heaven. Sure enough, I was alive.

Again, I gorged on all the food immediately. Every bite.

By the next day, the family (and the two dogs -- sheesh, those things are big, clumsy, and loud) was back. I can't say I had really done much after all that food, but surprisingly, when they arrived, I noticed something: I was hungry again!

I let them bring me back to Richmond this time. But have no doubt: I see how things can be at the camp. I will be returning... make no mistake about it!

Why scam a dog?

I do not understand humans. Case in point: I opened up my laptop this morning for the first time in months.

Do I do most of my computing on a smartphone, you ask? No! I'm a dog, I don't have a phone!

Do I use someone else's computer to take care of my web browsing, emailing, and other electronic needs, you wonder? Well, duh, of course I'm using my human's computer -- no dog can just walk into a computer store and buy a laptop; besides, why would I waste money that could otherwise be spent on dog food, human food, or toys when I have access to a perfectly good computer already (don't tell my humans).

Well, then, how can I bear to go months without logging on, you say? I'm a dog! I don't care about surfing the web, et cetera. I care about three things: food, food, and food. Now quit interrupting!

Anyway, as I was saying, after logging on for the first time in months, I open my email account (oscarvt99@gmail.com) and it is filled with spam. I have three guys wanting to sell me cars, several women who think I'm fun and want to meet up, many people offering to loan me money, tons offering me medications, and one semi-acquaintance who is vacationing in Turkey, hates to bother me at this time, but has fallen on hard times (i.e. he lost his wallet and passport) and needs me to wire him money. I doubt many canines can compete with me in terms of traffic coming into my inbox!

I am a dog. I don't need meds, cars, or money, and I don't visit websites I'm unfamiliar with. Now, if there was a dog bone scam someone was running, I might fall into that trap.

But these scammers here are barking up the wrong tree.

Dear Oscar, Do you really think readers will follow your blog if you don't post consistently? Loyal Follower

Dear Follower,

This question came in several weeks back. The question is paraphrased (as is the name of the questioner). The question went on in the following vein: listen dog, you haven't posted in forever. You don't have a job or any real responsibilities. While your humans may have excuses for decreased blog presence, you do not. Do you really think loyal readers are going to continue checking your blog if you don't post consistently?

My answer, as a dog with a blog, is simple.

Yes.

Hope this helps! Your friend, Oscar

PS I also hope you'll enjoy the photo of a backcountry ski trip from 6 weeks ago!

Older Siblings

Where would the world be without big brothers? Gladys the dog and Waffle the cat are so lucky. I should know; I'm their big brother. They don't know how good they have it.

Speaking of oldest brothers, Chris Gallagher was here for the last 10 days. That guy knows how to vacation. First he chilled on the coast of Maine for a long weekend (a vacation he called very relaxing... except that he had to get up at 5 every morning while a bunch of triathletes breakfasted around him), then he biked all over northern Vermont, saw two major concerts, hung at the Camp in North Hero... the guy did it right.

And, to boot, he came up with a beautiful piece of advice for this blog. Noting that -- because of my various commitments and responsibilities (mostly as oldest sibling) -- I have experienced difficulties keeping up my running log, he suggested a change. Moving forward, I plan to log Gunnar's time in his Chariot -- the running stroller/ bike trailer/ ski trailer.

I won't tip-toe around the issue: I'm cutting back my mileage a bit. I have a long ways to go and a lot of years to do it in. I don't need to run all my miles at once. And I can share my running log space with our new family addition.

Photo: Showing my younger sister how to sit at the front of the boat.

Dear Oscar, Have you been doing any Mountain running lately? --Trailrunner

Dear Trailrunner,

Yes, in fact, I have. Twice in the past month, Mark and I have met uber-runner Dave Baird for runs up Mount Mansfield. Dave has been training for this weekend's Vermont 100 endurance run, and, let me tell you, the boy is in shape! 100-milers are never easy, but I am fully confident that he is going to sail through this one, achieving all his goals in the process!

I do feel a little badly that my performance wasn't quite as strong. Dave acted impressed by my scampering over rocks and steeps on both the ups and the downs. But on both trips I balked and made us change our route. What kind of mountain dog am I?

The first instance came on Run #1. It was a wet morning (see photo), and we came to a ladder up a cliff on the Long Trail. There was simply no other way around. And I just didn't want to climb that ladder (and Mark didn't want to carry a squirming 82-pounder). So we went around on the Forehead Bypass route and did just as well.

Instance Number Two came on the second run -- this past Saturday. The weather, different than that first run, was gloriously sunny and dry, but the trails were still damp and pretty slick after the deluge (aka the month of June). We decided to take a little detour on a side trail neither Mark nor Dave had ever done -- the Lakeview. It was a perfect day for it, looking west towards Champlain was crystal clear, and a GMC staffer had told us it would be a nice little side trail to jog with a dog. What was she thinking? The trail wasn't sketchy by any means. But for future reference, one, you don't "jog" on Class 3-4 rocks. And dogs -- while we love scrambling -- don't do well with exposure. We scrambled over a couple of sticky spots before turning around (yes, back over the aforementioned stickies) and getting back on the main trail.

Dave claims he's still impressed with my scrambling ability, but I feel I let him down.

At any rate, I sure wish I could make it up to him by pacing him at the 100. But, while Mark will be down there for Miles 70 to 100, pushing him to keep running and (hopefully) keeping him on the route, I'll be home with Gladys and Waffle. Good luck Dave -- I know you're going to kick rear-end!

Oscar

Dear Oscar, I noticed you only ran 1.6 miles on June 26. That seems less than your usual distance. What gives? -- Distance Tracker

Dear Tracker,

I hesitate to even discuss this. Because it's really no big deal.

I mean, look at Patrice Bergeron, center for the Boston Bruins. He went to the hospital after Game 6 of the Stanley Cup final with a broken rib and punctured lung!

So a little sore paw shouldn't hold me back. Yes, I limped after a mile yesterday. Yes, I let Mark soak my paw in epsom salts. Yes, I'm enjoying some uncharacteristic R & R right now.

And, yes, I'll be right back out there before you know it!

Oscar