Dear Oscar, What do you think of the bill before the New Jersey state legislature that would require dogs to wear seatbelts or be crated in the car? -- Car-Party-Pooper

Dear Pooper,

Preposterous! Me -- wear a seatbelt? You're kidding, right? Have you ever seen me in a car? I sit, I stand. I lie down, I scratch on the window. I let my ears flap in the wind, I lay down. Repeat. A seatbelt? Who comes up with these things!

When I first read your question, I admit it: I laughed until I cried. They must be a bunch of comedians down in New Jersey! I have to visit! However, if you're writing in about it, maybe they're for real. On second thought, maybe I better just steer clear.

Your friend, Oscar.

Dear Oscar, Were you at a dog party this weekend? -- Paw-ty Animal

Dear Animal,

Here's what happened. It all started about three weeks ago when my human (Mark) started experiencing shin pain. Not counting a half-ironman in Maine, he hasn't done much of anything that entire time, just trying to get well. But now he is easing back into running. (By "easing" I of course mean he ran an easy 4 miles with me on Thursday instead of just jumping into the 22-miler he did this morning. Makes sense, right?)

Meanwhile, the non-injured in the family -- that's Ali, Gladys, and me -- went for a 12-miler along the Richmond River Trail. When we arrived at the Beeken Preserve Canoe Access, we realized there was a party going on. And not just any party... it was a DOG party! Of course we crashed it.

Mark had come through prior to us, and apparently he gave them the heads up that we might be coming. The party was put on by Richmond Land Trust. Dr. Dan, the vet from Richmond Animal Hospital was there, and lots of dogs and people. Gladys and I jumped on most of them.

We continued with our run and then went home. When Mark came back through, apparently they were still there. He asked if we had been there, and they told him yes. The conversation went something like this:

     Mark: Was one on the leash and the other not?
     Partiers: You know your children well!
     Mark: Were they well-behaved?
     Partiers: Very!
     Mark: Was the wife well-behaved?
     Partiers: Very!

It's always nice to get a good report. And there's nothing like a party to break up a nice run on a September day!

Your friend, Oscar

Dear Oscar, Can you please explain the USAT drafting rules? Also, while we're at it, will you clarify the concept of "tailgating"? Thanks, Word-freak

Dear Freak,

I'm glad you wrote; there has long been confusion about these two definitions. Why the confusion, you ask? Well, we could start with Merriam-Webster Dictionary and its no-fewer-than 21 definitions for "draft" and 5 for "tailgate." (An aside: Merriam-Webster notes that the earliest use of the word "tailgate" occurred in 1962.)

You'll notice, as I explain these complicated concepts, that it is difficult to have one without the other. If you will refer to Photo A (the one on the left... as a dog, I was unable to figure out how, using HTML -- the computer language used by bloggers to design their weblogs -- to label the two pictures), you will see Gladys "drafting"... that is, taking advantage of reduced air pressure created by the lead dog (me... although we all know that I have a high gear and I could quite easily shift into overdrive and drop her). In doing, she is also "tailgating"... that is, moving dangerously close to the lead dog. You'll know you are too close when all you can see in your range of vision is "tail" -- hence the term.

In Photo B (yes, Einstein, the other photo), you'll notice me trailing at a much safer distance... at least one dog-length behind. As another aside, if the next frame were available, you'd see me performing a full-open-field-body-slam-tackle-takedown-rollover of Gladys. I just love doing that.

Hope this helps with your question.

Your friend, Oscar